Six months into my respiratory program and I failed my final for medical gases...and what did it lead me to? taking it over during NIGHTS...NIGHTS!!!!! I guess I really can't blame anyone but myself for simply not studying hard ENOUGH to make it through that darn class...when I was speaking to one of the clinical instructors, he looked at me and simply asked..."how could you fail medical GASES???" and I literally almost went blank. I thought about it and I know...I KNOW I wasn't the only one who really didn't understand the instructor...but it was also MY fault to not get a tutor right away.. *sigh...now I'm a month behind and I can no longer go to school during the DAY...ugh...I guess it's better that I go to school during the night...I got a heads up that its easier and that the better intructors teach at night...well I'll just have to be the judge of all that...also, at least i'm not the only one who failed the one class....*ugh...how sad.....

I feel such a TOTAL FAILURE!

failure is a key to success..my ASS! [well maybe]

I don't want to cry anymore, and I don't want to think about that 3 page letter...

I want to stop hurting.

What does it really take to have a good, and happy relationship? I want honest answers from couples who have been together LONGER than at least 3 years. As I watched the news, there was a couple celebrating their 75years of marriage, and being a girl I was just in awe in the situation and wondering why is it that relatonships these days do not last anymore than what they used to be. This old couple dated when they were teenagers obviously and lived through the depresssion and now living in the present depression our economy is facing.

How do they do it? their answer: communication. Is it really enough to talk to your SO that after that specific comunication everything will get better? and all is forgiven but never forgotten? How do you move on when all you can think about is what has happened in the relationship such as cheating, or lies, and mistrust and lonliness.

As I was reading some article on my yahoo homepage, I read about the 9 reasons why your SO cheats. It made a lot of sense and basing it on my relationship it was all out of lonliness, one knowing because my SO is in the military....but, another question...how do other couples that serve in the military deal with such situations? how do you cope with everything besides trying to keep yourself busy and trying not to think "what they could be doing"...

I don't want to have these thoughts anymore, but as I read in the article that if we have mistrust out of jealousy or out of low self esteem that it's best to just call it quits...but it's not so easy, everyone has different problems such as mine...but again, others have it worse.

Ok, i'm done...time to self loath in the music of Boyz II Men, what happened to music like that? some music these days are just so wierd and doesn't even make sense. lol

How do I get out of an abusive, protective relationship.....how.