Name: Angela
Date: 9/8/2009
Colorgenics Number: 70612543

Everyone feels despondent at times and you are no exception. You are feeling so depressed because it seems that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and you don't quite know which way to turn. So like the proverbial ostrich you are trying to bury your head in the sand. But that won't work - you have to face reality.

You are not be feeling so good at this time. Everything seems to be getting on top of you. What you need is a rest from all of the the present trials and tribulations in peaceful surroundings and with someone - male or female, it doesn't really matter - who can really understand you and appreciates your needs.

You feel that you should be appreciated far more than you are but no-one seems to care! You feel that you are receiving less than your share and the main problem is that there is no-one to whom you can turn to for sympathy and understanding. The inner stress that you are experiencing makes you quick to take offence but you realise that at this particular moment in time there is little that you can do to relieve the situation.

Having experienced considerable disappointment of late and not knowing quite what to do about it this has led you to suffer a great deal of agitation and anxiety. You are trying very hard to make favourable impressions all round. You feel that you have a right to do anything that you wish without being condemned for your beliefs. Everything seems to be going against you and you feel helpless to change the situation. The possibility of failure is most upsetting and this situation is leading to untold stress. You honestly believe that the situation is not of your making - it is not your fault - you have been misled and abused by those that you trusted, but you are trying to look at the situation quite dispassionately. Would you perhaps not agree that this situation could be regarded as unrealistic self justification?

You are completely worn out - physically and mentally - and it has got to the stage where 'you don't want to participate anymore'. You are in fact experiencing what is known as 'burnout' and your reaction is such that you feel that everyone is against you yet you still seem to refuse to listen to reason. You are hostile, bitter and indignant. You insist that you want and are entitled to your own way - well maybe you are, but your attitude is not conducive to making friends. Take it easy. Let go and get back into the World.

Honestly, this is all on point..I really feel I can't go on, and I have noone to turn to. I feel as if I need someone physically, and everything is literally crashing down on me. My relationship with my BOYFRIEND of 5years already, feels as if it's falling apart while he's on deployment and I no longer know what to do, so many things with this is that, it is ALL EASIER SAID, THAN DONE. I ask myself why I can't leave him well, because I'm under his care..he pays for everything, and I feel like I can't take care of myself independently, I can't just MOVE OUT where would I live? a lot of apartment complexes need credit reports etc..and GOOD ones at that, and I have NO JOB..I can get a job, but what about my credit? my form of transporation, everything just leads one thing to another. I feel HELPESS. I want to escape EVERYTHING. I HATE the reality of my life. I want to never think about my life and what I'm going through. People say what I'm going through will make me a stronger individual, but I feel I'm not gaining any strength at all, just getting weaker. I feel physically and mentally WEAK. I feel like giving up on so many levels on SO many things. I feel my heart breaking because of my relationship right now, and then school. I'm emotionally exhausted. I feel like I'm dying inside by the minute, like someone is killing me fast and I can't take a deep breath. I feel something is wrong with me mentally, like i'm going crazy. I hate everything right now. I espicially hate my boyfriend. He's on deployment once again, and why is that I feel the one who's the problem? like i'm the one who's doing something WRONG. I feel unloved by him, I feel alone, and he doesn't bother to call me or email me, just texts me. That's not enough for me. Everybody is telling me to forgive him because he's busy with work. I SAY BULLSHIT, he's in fucking singapore right now in a fucking NICE RESORT having the TIME OF HIS LIFE, and he doesn't bother to email me? call me? only on our anniversary? are you serious? he can't call me to ask how im doing? i'm sick of it. All i want from him is to care, it's not fair that i'm always there for him, now i don't give a rat's ass anymore. I've given up..I already told myself, that whatever i'm doing with him, i'll just do it for my future and when i'm done with school i'll just leave him and he can have everything he ever bought me. I don't care anymore, I don't want to care anymore. I have never felt so alone in my life and under pressure. I hate my school because I feel like I'm not trying hard enough to get through this RT program. I feel like such a failure, and I just want to stay home with my mom and my sister and do NOTHING...ugh. I just want rest...freedom, stress free..idk...i don't know what's happening with me. I want someone to rescue me...

Name: Angela Irene
Date: 7/27/2009
Colorgenics Number: 46135207

It would appear that at this particular time of your life you are going through a tough time. You are feeling (or have recently felt) miserable and depressed and perhaps you are still feeling that way. Maybe all the trials and tribulations just aren't worth it. Your present anxieties could have been associated with either your 'private' or 'business' life - whatever ... what you really need at this time is to get away from it all, maybe a vacation - alone, or better still, perhaps with someone that you know really cares for you, someone who appreciates you - not for what you have but for who you are. A short vacation may be all you need to afford you the time to recover and to get back to your normal vital self.

Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people - but try to stay out of the limelight. You'd like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.

You feel that you deserve far more than is being attributed to you, but there is no-one to whom you can turn to for sympathy and understanding. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you will have to make the best of things as they are.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

Sometimes, when situations happen for a reason even if it is bad there is always some good that comes out of it. For example, me failing a class has concluded to no school for a month which then concludes me having ALL the sleep in the WORLD! ahhh the JOY!

Just thought I'd share my simple happiness of thought. hehe.

n'joy thee day. PEACE!